I’ve felt a little discouraged lately because of Never Enough syndrome. I added up all the writing I’ve done since June 06 and it’s astonishing. So why do I always feel like I haven’t gotten enough done and I’m not writing fast enough? I write as much as I can, and I write around two small children and enough rotten weather and power outages since October to have me twitching every time the wind blows.
Then there’s genre expectations. Is it this enough, that enough. I wonder if things will be better in another genre and realize, no. Because you no matter what you write, somebody will feel it’s not enough. Not high concept enough, not enough character development, not exciting enough, not hot enough, not funny enough, whatever. In some way, no matter what you write, somebody will say it’s not enough of something.
So when is it enough? The answer can’t come from Out There. It has to come from In Here. When do I think I’ve done enough? Are my expectations of myself too high? Do I need to adjust them? When do I think a story is good enough? Meeting genre expectations is a factor no matter what genre you write in, and I think I have to feel satisfied as a reader that it fits MY expectations of that genre, and what I know to be the expectations of readers “like” me. I can’t predict beyond that because then I get into the realm of trying to be a mind-reader and/or fortune teller.
No matter how much I do, I’ll always want to do more. It’s natural to want to progress, to improve. But I also don’t want to make myself insane trying to do it all when you simply can’t. I need to figure out what is “enough” by my standards, and hold to that.
I think this is something we all suffer from. It’s a balance. Sometimes what we think is enough, really isn’t — this is where being pushed by a trusted editor or agent can help us reach that next level of our work that we might not have reached on our own.
However, I do think the feeling of “what’s enough?” could be a mask for other things. From the sound of your post, it could also be that you are saying “Enough already!” to life in general — I think the energy to take up the “you can do more” challenges in our writing comes from backing off and doing less. Writing is not a race, right? even though there’s plenty in the industry that makes us feel like it is.
So, there’s balance in here somewhere… I go in cycles, but I know the best thing to do when I get this feeling is to back off a little until the pressure passes. You’re right — don’t make yourself insane, and do what makes you happy — we are only one person. However, I also think there’s value to being pushed, to getting out of that comfort zone, but we have to have the energy to be there.
Hope that makes sense!
Sam
Sam, I totally agree that there’s enormous value in being “pushed” in the right direction to be better, to reach a higher level, and the agent and/or editor who does that for you is invaluable! And sometimes a little push for more effort pays off in huge ways.
But there’s being pushed out of your comfort zone for your greater good towards goals you strongly desire, and then there’s letting outside forces push you into a direction or pace that isn’t what you want. Only you can say what you want and where you want to go and what you’re willing to give to get there. And when you feel satisfied that you’ve achieved what you set out to do.
I don’t have any answers, I suffer from this all the time. If you figure it out, I’ll bribe you with chocolate cupcakes for the answer though
Lauren, I don’t think there’s any final answer. I think this is something you always have to be aware of, and every once in a while stop doing and re-assess. Take a look at what you’re doing and why and ask if it’s leading in the right direction.
I do serious re-evaluation twice a year. Maybe I should do it more often. It’s so easy to get caught up in doing, doing, doing that you can lose track of why you’re doing it or notice if what you want to do has changed. I’ll take any cupcakes offered, though!
I think that’s right on, Charli – the feeling of being too pushed or pulled by external forces, and that’s when I tend to drop back and reevaluate, and figure out priorities. I like being pulled maybe (now, really, who doesn’t? LOL), but pushed is different.
Sam
You know, my martial arts instructors used to have this annoying habit of saying “give it 110 percent.” It used to make me nuts. I got 100 percent to give, buddy. That’s all anyone has. Ask math guys. When you have too much energy going out and not enough coming in, you always feel in deficit, no matter how much you’ve accomplished. Celebrate your accomplishments. I feel wonderful if I manage to get an hour of writing in a day with my day job and other commitments. That’s what I can do. When I don’t manage it–eh, I try to ask why? I’m tired, I’m bored, I’m doing the wrong thing, I need a push, I need a break…there are no right answers, eh?
Exactly, Sam!
Ciar, that would be annoying. And it’s very important to celebrate accomplishments, large and small! You’re right, the answer is going to be different depending on the circumstances.
I think it comes from being online and following threads. I know that when I feel this way that I’ve been paying too much attention to the crap happening online. Also, I agree with Samantha, sometimes the best thing you can do is back off when this happens. You need to read The War of Art. It addresses everything in your post and then some. 🙂
Jordan, that book is on my list for my next order! I know I need to read it. And yeah, the stuff online can make you insane in about five minutes if you let it.
*Love* the new blog look!
As an unpubbed author, it helps to know both sides get this feeling. For me, part of the urge to write more has to do w/ getting published but it’s also the feeling that I could write 24/7 and still not tell all the stories beggin’ to be written .
Denise, who’s adding The War of Art to her TBR list
Thanks, Denise! Sadly, getting published doesn’t cure it. In fact, it’s an eye opener to hear that top authors still struggle with it.
Becoming published only makes it worse lol. At least for me. And Charli, this is something I bitch about all the time. I WISH I could be an “X amount of pages per day” author. I would love it. Doesn’t work for me. No matter HOW many pages I write in a day–it could be 5 or it could be 50–I always think it could be more, or worse, if I get those pages done early in the day, I think every spare moment AFTER that, I need to be pumping out more. I’m WAY too hard on myself, and I know it, but knowing it doesn’t change the result. Unfortunately.
Sharon, we need to start a support group for overachivers. *g* I set my min. goal at 5 pages because when I did the math, to write all projects I want to write this year that’s what it’ll take. I try not to make my goals so high that I’m stressed all the time. Of course I always want to squish in more and if I can, great. But yeah, just because you CAN write 35-50 pages in a day doesn’t mean you should shoot for that on a regular basis. On a bad day, 5 is manageable. 50 is not.
I feel as if you read my mind, Charli. I’ve been struggling with the same thoughts lately. I always feel as if I should be doing more–more writing, more promoting, more everything.
It’s hard to step back and just appreciate how much you’ve done. I think it’s especially hard in this profession because there is no security. If you don’t write, you don’t eat. It’s as simple as that. Then there are all the hopes and dreams you have for your career. You want to grow it while not neglecting what you already have.
In the end, it is a very personal thing. Only each individual will know what they’re comfortable with. I’m still strugglingto try and find balance. But, in the meantime, chocolate helps. LOL
You’ve come so far in such a short time, Charli. You’re an inspiration to the rest of us.
Hugs
NJ, that’s it, it’s very personal and individual. And likely to change over time as circumstances and goals change! I’m there with you on the chocolate. And thank you, NJ, it’s nice to be an inspiration. : )
Hey Charli,
I go through this too at times…but it seems to be more about older books. When I go back and look at them…I want to rip them apart and make the SO much better than they were. I think this stems from the “I’ve been away from it long enough now to see the problems” syndrome.
Havng just gutted and rewritten for the umpteenth time an old book, that may have something to do with it! *g*