I posted this in the comments at The League Sunday when I was slap-happy from edits. Since I am still slap-happy, I’m moving it over here. Feel free to add yours in comments!
How many novelists does it take to change a lightbulb?
a. Romance novelist: 2. And the bulb glowed happily ever after.
b. SF novelist: none. Lightbulbs are no longer necessary in the future.
c. Urban fantasy novelist: 3, forming a triad of power to overcome the burned out bulb. (Optional: 4th will perform rite to make certain bulb is dead and stays dead.)
d. Literary novelist: none. The bulb learns to accept its inert, burned out state as a metaphor for the human condition and ceases to struggle against the darkness.
e. Horror novelist: 1 goes into the room alone with the new bulb, and then he/she is never seen or heard from again.
A: Seventy-eight. Twelve SF novelists to discover that the lightbulb is burned out and hold a spontaneous seminar on the real science behind household incandescent light, eleven literary novelists to spit on the SF novelists’ open discussion as genre tripe, ten historical romance novelists in correct period dress making snide remarks about each other and everyone else in the room as they parade around flouncing their hoopskirts under the lightbulb, nine mystery novelists to point out how the lightbulb burning out relates to their respective new releases, eight horror writers to set up a Tiki bar and get hammered, seven erotica novelists to trade love scene jokes and utterly scandalize the historical novelists, six western novelists who didn’t have anything better to do but hang out in dark rooms now that they no longer have conferences or a genre, five romantic suspense novelists who are considering lighting maintenance as an alternative career choice now that their genre is on life support, four fantasy novelists who surround the dead lightbulb with magic crystals to enpower it, three nonfiction bionovelists who are working on Edison’s life story, two media tie-in novelists who are taking a break from Halo to see what’s going on, and one multi-genre novelist to change the damn bulb so she can get back to work in the corner.
LOL Lynn! I hope it’s bright in your corner. And congrats on your new release. I’m running out today to nab my copy of Twilight Fall.
LOL, that’s cute! Just wanted to send good wishes your way, Charli. Had a strange feeling you just needed a bright smile today.
Hugs,
Dee
Thanks, Dee, smiles are always welcome. Especially when doing the final “did I miss anything?” read-through on edits!
Western writers: None. “What in tarnation is a ‘light bulb’?
Tolkien wanna-bes: Nine, of course. Durr.
And that’s all I got.
But Kyle, is there one bulb to rule them all? *ggg*
I’d rather light a candle that curse the darkness (that’s cause I can’t find my glasses in the dark- and I kick enough coffee table legs as it is). 🙂
P.S. Did you send me your ARC? I haven’t gotten it yet, and if you have sent it you might want to see where it is.
Ann, I mailed them all book rate, so they’re probably on a slow boat to China. *g* Yours should turn up shortly.
Lighting a candle is a creative solution to the light bulb problem!
I don’t mind the slow boat, I was just worried that I had missed it (it’s been crazy around here, and I seem to have misplaced my attention span).
P.S. I also resort to lighting candles cause I never remember to buy the bloody lightbulbs. 🙂
Candles are romantic and they hide dust! ^5
I always use media mail and still spend a fortune at the post office. I did hear one person got hers today, so your copy will probably arrive tomorrow. Let me know if it doesn’t show up within a few days!