weekend

Since this is a holiday weekend, I’m leaving the book giveaway open until Monday. It’s an at-home weekend for us since we have lots to get done, but there are fun things on our agenda. I’m ready for a nice long walk. And maybe a movie.

Hope everybody’s enjoying the long weekend!

Friday Giveaway

Author copies of Miss Lonely Hearts are here! Which means one of them needs to find a new home. In the comments, let me know what you’d like to see from me next or just put your name in if you haven’t tried any of my books before.

Miss Lonely Hearts cover

Here’s an excerpt:

Miss Lonely Hearts
Copyright © 2007 by Charlene Teglia
Samhain Publishing all rights reserved 

Jason Alexander looked up from the dull and repetitive task of polishing the shiny oak bar top when the door of The Last Resort swung open. Good, a customer. Something to do, something to relieve the tedium, someone to talk to.

Until he realized the two large men making their ponderous way to the padded barstools were Dwight and Duke Lawrence.

The twins never talked. It was an amazing phenomenon, but true, nevertheless. Jason had wondered at it from the first time he’d seen them take those same seats on his first night in residence as the new owner of The Last Resort.

They hadn’t shown the least bit of surprise that the place had changed hands, or any interest in his identity. They’d simply waited until one of the other locals piped up and told him they always had one shot of bourbon and one draft apiece.

Never one to back down from a challenge, Jason had summoned his considerable charm and slid the beverages in front of them with a smile and a friendly greeting.

Silence. The only sound came when Duke rustled a bill in paying the tab. Even the raising and lowering of the glasses occurred in an incredible silence, the heavy restaurant glass never clunking when it made contact with the oak bar, but settling gently on the cocktail napkins without a whisper. That this feat of steady, soundless movement came from two men big enough to be mistaken for a pair of Yeti was nothing short of miraculous.

The tandem performance had amazed Jason then, and it amazed him now. Sometimes he wondered if they even realized the bar had changed hands. The previous owner, Lucky Day, had been abandoned by his namesake in Reno. The outcome of that fateful poker game had left Jason Alexander, professional gambler extraordinaire, the sole proprietor of a rustic bar in Southeast Alaska.

Maybe, he thought with a flash of wicked humor, they couldn’t tell the difference because all bartenders looked alike in the dark.

Not that it was all that dark just then. It was only spring, but already the days were visibly lengthening. The bar’s traditional dim lighting was highly augmented by the sun, streaming in through the small windows at full strength. That was one of the things he truly loved about the area. In the summer, the extended daylight lent everyone a kind of exuberance that made up for the long, dark winters. Nobody slept or stayed inside if they could help it.

In fact, the restless energy of this little city on the Tongass Narrows with the dubious honor of being named Alaska’s Rain Capital had appealed to his adventure-loving soul immediately.

From the moment he’d stepped off the ferry, he’d felt like he’d come home.

Here, in a place with a history of gold rushes, on a little plot of land in the former red-light district, was a place a gambler and wanderer could settle down in as easily as he could settle behind a blackjack table.

It fit him and he’d made up his mind immediately, with a gambler’s sure instincts, that he wasn’t selling The Last Resort. Or putting it up as collateral, either. He was leaving the life of plush hotels and room service behind forever. He was twenty-eight years old and it was time he had a home.

So Jason had taken up his position behind the bar and never looked back. Two years later, he wasn’t sorry.

But he still hadn’t ever managed to get a word out of Dwight or Duke in all that time. He only knew which was which because Duke always sat on the left. Also, his well-developed powers of personal observation had detected very slight differences that distinguished one from the other. Dwight sported a faint scar on one cheek and Duke had thicker brows. Still, they were as identical as it was probably possible to get without actually being one and the same person.

But something about them was different tonight. Jason studied the two dour faces as he served the usual drinks with a flourish. "On the house this time, Duke," he said, knowing it was the left-hand twin’s turn to buy. They traded off, another well-established ritual they never deviated from.

He thought he actually saw a glimmer of surprise in the man’s pale eyes. "You’re welcome," he responded, as if Duke had spoken instead of nearly blinking.

With these two, body language was about as verbal as he could expect.

"Least I can do for you two, since you’re looking so down," Jason went on. Dwight definitely twitched as he reached for the bourbon. Interesting. Now what could these two be bothered about? Jason pondered the possibilities. Probabilities were his forte.

Odds were, they’d finally gotten tired of each other’s companionship and gotten lonely in a purely masculine way. That being the case, and being as alike as they were, the two had probably then settled their affections on the same woman.

"Woman trouble does that to us all," Jason stated in commiseration. "We men have to stick together. Though in your case, I don’t recommend you take that too literally. The law doesn’t recognize three-way marriages." Although employers and official agencies were recognizing every other kind of arrangement these days, and polyamorous groups weren’t exactly unheard of. Live and let love. But the law was conservative.

Both Dwight and Duke rattled their shot glasses when they replaced them on the heavy oak slab. Jackpot!

"You know, you two might try asking her to choose between you." He offered the suggestion in the time-honored spirit of supportive advice from the bartender to his burdened patrons. Dwight and Duke were apparently unacquainted with the custom personally, but he suspected they stopped in night after night mostly to listen to the talk, even if they didn’t participate actively.

Now, as lacking in verbal skills as they were, how likely was it they’d ever actually say something like that to a woman? It was amazing that they’d even gotten as far as saying hello. Too amazing, Jason realized. Which meant that they hadn’t. Which meant they’d been doing their wooing in silence. Which meant…

"Of course, maybe you shouldn’t do a thing like that through the mail. It might go better in person."

Then it happened.

Dwight’s big fist curled up and thumped the bar in a single, silent shout of frustration and despair. And he spoke.

"Too late. She dumped us both."

The rusty admission drew a nod of agreement and pure misery from Duke who chimed in, "Jilted," in the heaviest, creakiest, rustiest voice Jason had ever heard.

Jilted. Now, that was serious. Jason eyed the two, surprised they’d proposed on paper. Well, not really. How else would they do it, unless they met a deaf woman and communicated by holding up a ring?

"You mean she agreed to marry both of you?" he asked as the implications of Duke’s single contribution to the conversation sank in.

Two woeful heads nodded once. Two ham hands raised and lowered heavy beer mugs in unison.

Jason would have given an awful lot to meet the woman who’d do that, he really would. Imagine. Taking on the two Lawrence men. The two enormous Lawrence men. The mind boggled. Whoever she was, she was truly an adventurous soul. Although it seemed she’d thought better of her decision to walk on the wild side at the last minute.

"Well, at least you found out about her in time," Jason offered.

Two heads hung low.

Now what did that mean? He swiftly concluded it meant they’d lost more than their hearts. Jason’s former life began to pass before his eyes, and the words con artist rang in his head. "My friends," he said, "You have just been done in by Miss Lonely Hearts."

Two heads rose. Four brows shot upward.

An explanation was requested, evidently.

"Miss Lonely Hearts is an old con. One of the safest, actually. It’s small potatoes, hard to trace and usually unreported." He saw he had their full attention, and continued. "Here’s how it works. She sees a lonely hearts ad, and picks a victim. She writes love letters to set the coldest heart on fire and sends a picture of the most heartbreakingly beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. She also confesses to being on hard times and asks for the airfare to join her groom."

Two mouths set in a hard line and two paws curled around the mugs with enough controlled force to break the glass. The equivalent in more verbal men of shouting raging accusations and hurling abuse. All things considered, though, he thought they were taking it pretty well.

"Then she takes the money and runs. Literally. Don’t blame yourselves, men, she’s smart and almost impossible to catch because she never gets greedy. A little here, a little there, never in the same place."

Another voice joined in the conversation. "Not exactly, Jason. Pour me a double, will you?"

Jason looked up in surprise to see Sam Weiss, the high school English teacher looking as hurt and as sheepish as the Lawrence brothers.

"Not you, too, Sam?"

The man nodded. "You know how it is here, Jason. Ketchikan isn’t all that big, and we’re on an island. We get the cruise ships and the tourists coming through from May to September, but winter’s a different story. Not many visitors want to stay on, and plenty of people move here and then change their minds after the first winter. It’s not surprising some of us start to look for a bride online."

Now that was a little too coincidental to ring true to Jason. The odds were very much against three of his regulars being hit by a con artist at random. He began to wonder just who Miss Lonely Hearts was really after.

"Same deal? Same picture?"

Sam turned to Dwight and Duke. "Beautiful blond. Eyes the color of lapis lazuli. She wrote poetry so beautiful I cried."

Two mugs hit the oak slab with angry force.

Sam turned back to Jason. "Yes, same woman, all right. From Seattle. I sent her a ticket and she never came, but the airline confirmed the ticket had been cashed in."

Seattle. He didn’t remember anyone who had a grudge against him in that area. In fact, Jason didn’t remember anyone who had a grudge against him, period. Even Lucky Day, the bar’s not-so-lucky former owner, had been glad to get free of The Last Resort. He’d claimed he was tired of staying in one place. He’d traveled around the lower forty-eight awhile, then headed for the Yukon, the last time Jason had heard.

"She broke my heart," Sam went on. "I thought there must have been an accident, or a family emergency. I tried to write to her again, but the emails bounced and the letter I sent to the postal address got returned."

Dwight jerked his head in Sam’s direction, indicating he wanted to buy Sam’s drink.

Amazing. Miss Lonely Hearts had brought the Lawrence brothers out of their cone of silence and had them interacting.

She had Sam nearly crying in his whisky, and he was a known cynic with a preference for the bleakest literature in the history of the written word, a man who scoffed at romance.

She’d hit The Last Resort, and hit it hard.

Determination fired in Jason’s heart.

She wasn’t going to get away with it.

She’d thrown down the gauntlet, but he was going to pick it up and stuff it down her beautiful throat. Although it was highly unlikely Miss Lonely Hearts was actually the woman in the picture.

Whoever she was, the mystery woman wasn’t going to set up an operation on his turf and fleece his friends.

"Watch the bar for me, will you, Sam?" Jason asked, tossing his bar towel on the shiny oak surface. "I believe I have a personal ad to go and place."

He started towards the stairs that led to his living space above the bar and his computer, then turned back to ask, "Which website?"

Sam answered and the Lawrence brothers nodded agreement.

"Got it." Jason went on his way, determined to set a trap and provide the juiciest bait.

Namely, the kind of ad a con couldn’t resist.

An invitation to Miss Lonely Hearts to come and get his wallet.

He’d write a lonely plea for a mail-order mate that would melt a heart of stone and trap the foolish grifter who’d made the fatal mistake of getting greedy. He’d send a ticket when she asked, all right, but he’d be there to bring her in when she tried to cash it.

She wasn’t really all that clever.

She shouldn’t have challenged a gambler to a game of hearts.

 

My insights of the week

1. Kid interruptions are inversely proportional to the amount of work a parent is trying to accomplish
2. Kids can be distracted with dinosaur documentaries via Discovery streaming, but only if IE8 is banished first
3. Everybody loves toaster pastries. Including the cat.
4. Attempting to eat a toaster pastry without giving the cat one involves a lot of strategy and forethought
5. Especially since he is fast and ruthless
6. Low acid coffee is not for me. Bring on the hard stuff.
7. Drains will stop up at the worst possible time
8. Not that there’s a good time for a stopped drain
9. Not wanting to empty the vacuum cleaner is an acceptable reason for putting off vacuuming another day
10. Although you can’t put it off forever

And how is your week going?

Good questions, fun with photos, Miss Lonely Hearts

Two very good questions from Seven Steps on the Writer’s Path:

Where do I want my path to lead me?

Will this activity or decision or lack of activity lead to that result for me?

Asking these two questions on a regular basis is a wonderful way to cut through all the clutter and clarify decisions. (Works for non-writers, too!)
Gems like that make Seven Steps one of my most frequently referred to books.

In my continued efforts to get out more, do more creative things, and have fun with kids I took more pictures this morning and have organized my Flickr uploads into sets. Today’s are in the set called Kids. (Yesterday’s are in the set called River)

Last but not least, Miss Lonely Hearts is shipping from Amazon! I don’t know if it’s in stores yet, so please let me know if you see it. Nice that it’s available in time for holiday weekend reading.