In order to succeed as a writer (or really, in any area) you have to have a peculiar balance of confidence and humility. You have to know when you don’t know it all and be willing to learn from those who know more. But you have to have the confidence to know who you shouldn’t listen to, because somebody can be right and at the same time dead wrong for you.

It takes confidence to say that you disagree with input from a critique group, an agent, an editor because you know that it would be wrong for your story, your voice, your career. But this is not to be confused with arrogance, which doesn’t know when to listen to anybody.

Arrogance and lack of confidence put you in the same place; that of not knowing who to listen to and when. Arrogance never listens to anybody, lack of confidence listens to everybody. The result in both cases doesn’t lead to success.

The best way to avoid falling to either extreme is to know yourself well. Know your work, know why you want to do it, know when even good advice will lead you in a direction you don’t want to go. Know what you are trying to do, and you’ll recognize those who can help you do it better.