In case you thought my bio was joking about me, HP, and iambic pentameter, I share this gem from my cubicle days…
To print, or not to print- that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of print defects,
And by opposing end them. To print- to jam-
No more; and by a jam to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. ‘Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To print- to jam.
To jam- perchance to tear: aye, there’s the rub!
For in that flurry of paper what sensors may block
When we have cleaned off this OHT,
Must give us pause. There’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long a print job.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of 49 errors,
Th’ tray 1’s misfeeds, the formatter’s contumely,
The pangs of despis’d graphics, the transfer belt’s delay,
The insolence of “data received”, and the spurns
That patient merit of Resource takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare “change driver” response? Who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary print job,
But that the dread of something after printing-
The undiscover’d country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns- puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to other issues voiced that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make non-printers of us all,
And thus the shifted hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of yellow haze,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.- Soft you now!
The fair cyan cartridge!- Witty toner, in thy developer roller
Be all my graphics rememb’red.
That is too funny. I go though periods when everything I write tries to come out as a sonnet. Oy.
Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave. *g* Hamlet clears a print jam!
Sonnets are good exercises in structure. That’s not a bad thing. *ggg*
OMG that is freaking brilliant. LOL Ode to the Jam. I have to print that out.
When I was a grad student, my advisor once gave one of his students an A in a course where she wrote her final paper as a Dr. Seuss poem. š He still has it on his door, probably. Wish I’d thought of it, though I was kidding hubby that if I ever won any kind of award, I should do an acceptance in Dr. Suess.
You are one clever chickie, Charli (try typing that three times fast…)
Bwaha! You’ve got to work some Seuss into one of your current projects. Just think where that could lead…
Thanks, Sam! Print away, hope it doesn’t jam. *g* I turned in a paper once that parodied Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. I did not get an A. I think I was robbed. Sniff.
LMAO! This was brilliant: “The fair cyan cartridge!- Witty toner, in thy developer roller
Be all my graphics remembāred.” My life. in a poem.
Hope you don’t mind – i followed you from Lauren’s so I’m adding your link over at my place for the other Train hoppers.
Thanks, Rhian, I’ll have to visit the rest of the poetry train.
Actually, this is my favorite:
“The pangs of despisād graphics, the transfer beltās delay,
The insolence of ādata receivedā, and the spurns
That patient merit of Resource takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare āchange driverā response?”
Because we all know Shakespeare is meant to be performed, and so I read this to dh this morning, and enjoyed this and the drama of the end, of course.
Hee.
Sam
I can’t believe you did a live performance, Sam. ROFL!
My favorite part is actually the unspoken pun: Hamlet, Prints of Denmark. AHAHAHA. I kill me.
At least it was HP…which left you with enough energy to pen that fabulous ode. Be thankful it wasn’t a Lexmark! š
Lexmark. *shudders* Good point!