Having just slogged through a huge medical rough patch, it occurs to me that rough patches are nothing new in my life, from dealing with a special needs child to writing a book that wanted to break my brain, and those skills are the same, no matter what your rough patch may be.

So how do you get through a rough patch in your project, your personal life, or your career?

First, take it one day at a time. Don’t look too far ahead. Take it one hour, one minute at a time if you have to. Do the thing immediately in front of you that needs doing. Then do the next thing. Keep moving forward.

Second, remember that rough patches end. However difficult it might be at the moment, it’s just that moment. It’s not the rest of your life.

Third, practice kindness. If you’re not kind to yourself, everything is harder. How to be kind to yourself? This ranges from taking a walk, eating right, getting enough sleep, to going to a movie or an art gallery you really want to see to simply being kind in thought. “I’m actually a good writer. I’ve solved problems like this before. I’ve finished every other book, I can finish this one, too.” You can recognize your own short-comings and mistakes without turning it into a catastrophe or turning yourself into a hopeless mess. Being kind to yourself and believing in your abilities makes it a lot easier to weather difficult stretches.

Fourth, remember that from struggle comes growth. Every horrible writing problem I’ve wrestled with has made me a better writer. Dealing with a special needs kid has made me a far better parent and more empathic human being. I’m not a fan of Nietzche, but it is true that working through problems builds problem-solving skills and experience and wisdom and in the end, confidence.

Rough patches are part of life, unfortunately. In careers, in personal lives, in health, in projects, things go right and sometimes they go badly wrong, and while we can’t choose or control how or when these wrong things will hit, we can control how we cope with them. One minute at a time if that’s all we can manage.